Consider adversities as situations that are testing how prepared you are to move to higher places in life. If you do, you can handle them much better than you do it right now.
You probably know people that were told unexpectedly they have a major disease or high performer workers that lose their jobs because they no longer fit a new organizational change or celebrities and legends that initially were told they had no talent! As we go through life, we all experience some adversities and challenges.
Most people see adversities as negative occurrences in their lives, and they fight them, turning them into a very unpleasant experience. Not too many see them as a challenge, where you must demonstrate something or learn something from.
Seeing them as a challenge is a quite different perspective and probably a more beneficial one for all of us. You certainly feel better if you know that a challenge you are going through will enrich you or teach you a valuable life lesson.
Ideally, we should ‘recognize’ that the problem is taking place. We are not accepting that we deserve it; we understand that if we want it or not, if we deserve it or not, we must go through it, one way or the other. It is what it is!
Keep in mind that we do have a choice on how we respond to it!
We can go through it with a negative attitude, complaining and fighting it with a consequent negative impact on our emotions, health, family, and friends; or we can accept that we are in a bad place, maybe a horrible one, and try to focus on what we can do to alleviate and minimize the pain and suffering, while remaining positive, with the certainty that this too shall pass. Someone once said, “it may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass!”
Next time you have a major problem in your life, instead of asking “why me?” or “why now?”, remain positive, focused, and ask, “what can I learn from this?”, “what is the lesson that it is trying to teach me? and “how can I use this to help someone else in the future?”
Regardless of you remaining positive or negative, you will go through it. Still, your choice determines if you want to add to the suffering till the end of the ordeal or if you do all you can to alleviate the suffering and pain and probably get to the end a little sooner.
Although some problems and adversities may come from outside sources that we have no control over, the majority comes from our day-to-day interactions, where we are an enabler of the problems. Although we never admit it!
Take the case of relationships. We may have a significant other or a friend that may do something we do not approve of or like. We normally accept passively to avoid arguing with that person, and this goes on and escalates till the point that it becomes a major issue and catches the other party by surprise. Sometimes, both know there is a problem but do not take the time to have a difficult conversation to resolve it and end up hurting or ending a relationship.
Similar problems occur with our boss or co-worker, with money, health, and in any other area of our life.
The important point is always to be aware of our lives, interactions with others, and our feelings and emotions. Awareness is a fundamental tool to gauge the status of our life.
When we sense or have that feeling that something is not perfect, it is critical to stop and validate why we are having those concerns and talk to the other party, or parties, if they feel the same. This will help defuse any potential issue before it becomes a significant problem.
When we do not do that, we become a part of the problem by allowing it to take place, and no longer can blame others but ourselves for the outcome.
One little exercise that helps is from time to time to become aware of how satisfied we are with all areas of our lives, how balanced they are, and how comfortable we are in all different settings we act.
You will always identify a couple of areas the ‘could be better.’
Pick the one that you consider a priority, and think about something that you can do, starting now, to improve it.
It can be a relationship. Talk to the other party, tell them your feelings, and that you want to improve the relationship, agree on some activities, go out weekly for dinner, take a weekend off, etc. If with a boss or co-worker, you may suggest getting out for lunch weekly or monthly to discuss performance, communications gaps, etc. For money issues, you could start tracking 100% of your expenses and income to organize your budget better, etc. You get the idea.
The most important thing is to start doing something about it now; do not wait till you have a good opportunity.
Today is the best day to start!
Act, and you soon start improving the quality of your life.
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