Consider adversities as situations that are testing how prepared you are to move to higher places in life. If you do, you can handle them much better than you do it right now.
You probably know people that were told unexpectedly they have a major disease or high performer workers that lose their jobs because they no longer fit a new organizational change or celebrities and legends that initially were told they had no talent! As we go through life, we all experience some adversities and challenges.
Most people see adversities as negative occurrences in their lives, and they fight them, turning them into a very unpleasant experience. Not too many see them as a challenge, where you must demonstrate something or learn something from.
Seeing them as a challenge is a quite different perspective and probably a more beneficial one for all of us. You certainly feel better if you know that a challenge you are going through will enrich you or teach you a valuable life lesson.
Ideally, we should ‘recognize’ that the problem is taking place. We are not accepting that we deserve it; we understand that if we want it or not, if we deserve it or not, we must go through it, one way or the other. It is what it is!
Keep in mind that we do have a choice on how we respond to it!
We can go through it with a negative attitude, complaining and fighting it with a consequent negative impact on our emotions, health, family, and friends; or we can accept that we are in a bad place, maybe a horrible one, and try to focus on what we can do to alleviate and minimize the pain and suffering, while remaining positive, with the certainty that this too shall pass. Someone once said, “it may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass!”
Next time you have a major problem in your life, instead of asking “why me?” or “why now?”, remain positive, focused, and ask, “what can I learn from this?”, “what is the lesson that it is trying to teach me? and “how can I use this to help someone else in the future?”
Regardless of you remaining positive or negative, you will go through it. Still, your choice determines if you want to add to the suffering till the end of the ordeal or if you do all you can to alleviate the suffering and pain and probably get to the end a little sooner.
Although some problems and adversities may come from outside sources that we have no control over, the majority comes from our day-to-day interactions, where we are an enabler of the problems. Although we never admit it!
Take the case of relationships. We may have a significant other or a friend that may do something we do not approve of or like. We normally accept passively to avoid arguing with that person, and this goes on and escalates till the point that it becomes a major issue and catches the other party by surprise. Sometimes, both know there is a problem but do not take the time to have a difficult conversation to resolve it and end up hurting or ending a relationship.
Similar problems occur with our boss or co-worker, with money, health, and in any other area of our life.
The important point is always to be aware of our lives, interactions with others, and our feelings and emotions. Awareness is a fundamental tool to gauge the status of our life.
When we sense or have that feeling that something is not perfect, it is critical to stop and validate why we are having those concerns and talk to the other party, or parties, if they feel the same. This will help defuse any potential issue before it becomes a significant problem.
When we do not do that, we become a part of the problem by allowing it to take place, and no longer can blame others but ourselves for the outcome.
One little exercise that helps is from time to time to become aware of how satisfied we are with all areas of our lives, how balanced they are, and how comfortable we are in all different settings we act.
You will always identify a couple of areas the ‘could be better.’
Pick the one that you consider a priority, and think about something that you can do, starting now, to improve it.
It can be a relationship. Talk to the other party, tell them your feelings, and that you want to improve the relationship, agree on some activities, go out weekly for dinner, take a weekend off, etc. If with a boss or co-worker, you may suggest getting out for lunch weekly or monthly to discuss performance, communications gaps, etc. For money issues, you could start tracking 100% of your expenses and income to organize your budget better, etc. You get the idea.
The most important thing is to start doing something about it now; do not wait till you have a good opportunity.
Today is the best day to start!
Act, and you soon start improving the quality of your life.
Post comments, experiences or request more information in the CONTACT tab of my website: www.robertodelanese.com
To live a dream life is something rare nowadays!
Most people are just getting by and accepting difficulties in their relationships, finances, career, health, and personal wellbeing as a natural way of life.
Some are dissatisfied with their results in most areas of their lives and do not consider or imagine changing it because they feel safe in their comfort zone; sometimes, they even rationalize that if they were to change, it could get worse, so they keep on living miserably.
There are also those satisfied with their lives; they enjoy their family life, have a good outlook for the future, and are happy, although they know they could achieve more.
How satisfied are you with your life?
Think for a moment how satisfied you are in your relationship with family and friends, finances, career, health, personal wellbeing, etc. Do you feel that you live the best version of yourself, the beautiful dream you had for your future? If so, congratulations, keep growing and expanding your dreams!
If not, it is a good time to find out why and change directions. When evaluating where you are in life, remember that what you experience as your life right now, if a reflection of what you have repeatedly been floating in your mind for a long time. In other words, your own thoughts and words repeated constantly brought the results you are experiencing right now, not the other way around.
Thoughts and words that we repeat constantly form our belief system, and our subconscious steer us toward actions that cause results aligned with our belief system.
When we spend most of our time complaining about how bad our work, health, economy, or the world is, those ideas get ingrained in our minds, and our lives will reflect what most people are experiencing: poor results.
Spending a few hours each week visualizing the beautiful ‘dream life’ we want to achieve gets totally overridden by the 12 hours a day spent entertaining negative thoughts.
To control your life, you must start taking control of what you think, what you say, whom you talk to, and keeping your thoughts on what you want to be and achieve.
Act “now” by talking, walking, and behaving as you have already achieved your dream life. This attitude will bring you opportunities leading you toward the person you want to become.
When you read my book, THE DELANESE METHOD™, you see that my life exemplifies that reality. I went through a few periods of growth and decline until I learned and refined a method to achieve prosperity and abundance that many people have successfully followed.
Remember that you “do” have what it takes to control your life and achieve any goals and dreams you might have.
Regardless of where we are in life, we can always expand and become aware of the vast number of new opportunities available to our growth, enjoyment, and help others.
If you are looking for improvement in any area of your life, use THE DELANESE METHOD™ as a tool to guide you from where you are to the place you want to be and the person you want to become.
May you live your Dream Life.
Post comments, experiences or request more information in the CONTACT tab of my website: www.robertodelanese.com
Traveling alone in a long journey can be fun; but chances are that your trip can be even more rewarding if you have a great companion with whom you can share beautiful and exciting moments, validate ideas, choices, and count on some motivation when struggling. It can turn a nice trip into a memorable one.
The same applies to your journey towards your goals and dreams.
You may be able to focus and take all required actions by yourself, and move all the way to the finish line, achieving your goal. Nevertheless, it is important to consider that as you move toward the realization of a goal, it is highly likely that you will face obstacles and challenges. Those are the main reason that people give up on their dreams or settle for much less than what they planned for, or what they really deserve.
After you have mastered techniques to overcome challenges and obstacles you are better prepared to overcome those challenges, but initially, when planning to achieve a major goal or a dream, it is wise to find someone to ride along with you.
Before you start your journey toward a major goal or dream, you should consider identifying a couple of people that share and support your ideas and enlist them as your support system.
They are not there to take actions for you, their mission is to help you when you hit obstacles, when things are not going accordingly to plan, or just go wrong. They are there to motivate, support, and provide positive reinforcement to you all the way to the successful achievement of your goal.
The challenge is how to find them!
If you already have someone in your life who believes in you, who believes you can achieve your dreams or goals, then you are fortunate; those are the people you are looking for.
If you do not have strong supporters right now, the best way to identify them is to superficially mention your goal to friends, family, colleagues, and watch their reaction.
Some will laugh, or be negative, or may not care. Others may lighten up to the idea; they will be supportive, they will say that it is a great idea, that you should do it. Their body language can tell you if they mean it; they are happy, relaxed, enthusiastic for you. Those are the ones you can give more details about your plan or dream, and if they maintain the same positive attitude, you should ask them if you can come back from time to time to talk to them about your goal.
They will become your support system.
It is important that they know that you are not asking them to validate your dream or choices, you do not have to explain why you want to achieve this goal, you just need someone to support and motivate you along the way.
Find at least two or three supportive people before you start your next initiative, major goals or dreams.
They will provide you with the motivation, focus, and reinforcement you need to overcome the obstacles you will face in your journey toward your goals.
One last point to consider, if you do not have any supportive people around you, enlist the support of a mentor to be your support system. Mentors can see you with a larger potential than you can, and they are a great source of motivation and reinforcement. You can have a mentor even when you already have a few people enlisted as support, because they all bring different skills and experiences to help you out.
Having them by your side, is priceless; it could be the difference between achieving or not a dream. It is worth the time and effort to find them.
May the journey toward your dream be filled with memorable moments.
I do appreciate if you post comments, experiences or want more information in the CONTACT tab of my website: www.robertodelanese.com or www.thedelanesemethod.com